Got a PROBLEM? Here's How to Solve it...
I love the straightforward thought model I use to help clients get unstuck. The Life Coach School and Brooke Castillo are the bomb. Brooke’s model makes life work. It’s also FAST in helping to see life clearly. It’s why I use it with my clients who are wanting to get from where they are now to places they think that they can only dream about. And they do.
CTFAR. it’s a powerful tool for managing one’s thinking. Here it is:
CIRCUMSTANCE: Something happens. (Only use FACTS in this portion of the model.)
THOUGHT: We create a thought about what happens.
FEELING: Our though generates a feeling. (One word here, please.)
ACTION: Our feeling drives us to do things or not to do things. Both are found in our A lines.
RESULT: Obviously anything we do creates a result. Only put YOUR result in the R line of the model.
The amazing thing about the model is that it shows what is currently happening in our lives, which we may not even realize is going on. You can start with any part of the model to examine what’s going on. You can start with the disempowering thought, feeling, action or result and examine what’s at play. and then fill out your model from there. What happens is that we discover that our current results are coming from OURSELVES! This may seem like bad news…it’s not. It’s actually the best news ever because WE are the ones that can shift it up and create results that we actually want in our lives.
After taking a good look at what’s currently going on, we create what we call an INTENTIONAL MODEL. This is where the magic starts to happen. Plug in the results you WANT to have and fill in the model from bottom to top. Our life is a blank slate, waiting for us to do something new. And it’s all up for creation.
Here’s a perfect example:
CIRCUMSTANCE- text that said Sara is ending our friendship
THOUGHT- Our friendship is over (not a fact) and I’m sad because I’ve never connected better with anyone better than her
ACTION (as a result of my feeling)
Shut myself off from other
Thoughts spin out of control
Worry what others think
Climb in bed, pull the covers over my head, and act depressed
RESULT- I’m not connecting with Sara or anyone else for that matter
When you manage your thoughts by discovering what you’re making the facts mean, you can switch up the thoughts that feel disempowering. This is what we came up with:
C- text that said Sara is ending our friendship
T- I see that she’s upset and that’s ok. I’m doing my best.
open to people
share with Sara that there’s nothing she can ever do or say that will stop me from loving her and being her friend
staying in the game of life.
Involved. Live my life.
R I show up as the best version of myself.
How did this end? They're still friends. Not that this will always be the result AND it is much more likely when you are coming at it from clean thinking.
Note: Remember, what other people do or say is not about you. It’s about them. Why not continue to show up as the best version of yourself anyway?
If you are interested in how to apply this work in your own life, click on my home page and book your free session. No pressure. Let’s have some fun and help you get something working for yourself.